My Muslim family. Can anyone help?

I’m a guy, raised in muslim family live in London my whole life even now. Never understood it and always asked questions but was always shut down as a boy. Now I’m older I still have those same questions and never even practiced lately because I just didnt believe it, and I really dont believe in any religion, it doesnt make sense to me, I feel free and can think more clearly now, been thinking this way for like 2 weeks.

Last night was talking to my parents about something religion related, I wasnt even planning on telling them but I just kept asking questions when they made factual statements and they asked me straight up if I’m a muslim and if I believe in the quran, I wasnt planning on saying anything to them yet I guess I wasn’t ready but they asked me straight-up and I didnt want to live a lie so I said to them no, and then they got upset and angry and even my brother got angry and threaten to hit me, but I was calm the whole was through, I never even raised my voice and now they look at me like I’m a bad person and there calling me names and parents say what are they gonna say to other people and that I’ve brought shame on them and stuff, but my younger brother was really cool about it, he didnt even care – he’s the youngest of us.

I feel glad that I feel more free now that I’ve told them but I’m sad that they look at me differently, I couldnt even sleep last night, but I know religion cant be true it’s man-made so I will never believe it. I think it takes alot of courage to tell your family or even your freinds this stuff. is their reaction normal? what will happen now? I dont know about any of this stuff im even new on this website – I was just looking on the internet. I know some of my friends wont talk to me anymore and think I’ve done a bad thing but at least i still have my kid brother though. Anyone know any other websites that might help?

Anyone else had the same thing? what did you do? thanks.

Posted: August 18th 2012

brian thomson www

Another resource that you may find helpful is the Council of Ex-Muslims of Britain, which hosts events, discussions, and a discussion forum.

My situation was also totally different from yours, but I find it telling that your family didn’t try to make any religious or philosophical arguments to keep you in Islam. They went straight to threats, because that’s all they have. (Your parents getting upset is also a kind of threat – an emotional threat, an appeal to your emotions rather than your intellect.) Do they even know enough about Islam to argue for it, or do they just believe without understanding?

Posted: September 9th 2012

See all questions answered by brian thomson

Mike the Infidel www

You made a difficult choice between being honest with yourself and being comfortable. I’ve never been in a situation like yours, so I can’t really tell you whether or not you made the better choice, though I suspect that the truth would’ve come out eventually; it may be that it’s better to get the truth out in the open now, so that you have more time to talk it through with your family.

My advice, apart from looking for a community online where you can discuss your thoughts/doubts openly without fear of repercussion, is to behave exactly as you always have. Show your family that the fact that you’re not a believer doesn’t mean you’re an evil, immoral monster. The best way to change a biased or bigoted mind is to present it with an example of a real human being who belongs to the category they revile; by being a decent, honest person who happens to not believe in the Quran, your family may recognize that their preconceptions aren’t true and change the way they think about infidels :)

Of course, depending on how devout your family is, this may not be true in your case. If you feel that you’re in any danger, I’d check out http://www.reddit.com/r/atheisthavens . Reddit’s “Atheist Havens” forum is a place where people in various areas around the world offer a safe haven for nonbelievers who feel threatened by their situations. You could open up a thread there describing your situation, and someone might be able to help you.

I’m sorry I can’t be of more help; my situation differs greatly from yours. I hope you can find a resolution that brings you comfort and peace of mind.

Posted: September 9th 2012

See all questions answered by Mike the Infidel


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